This letter was written by Nina, one of Mariana's friends

Dear Mariana,

I think about you sometimes. I try to understand but I can't. Most of the time, all of the time, I remember how beautiful you looked, your smile and screechy meows you used to make.. How you loved Smashing Pumpkins, how you wanted to lose your virginity to the lead singer. So many goals and dreams and fantasies. Your face is still in my dreams... I know in my soul that you're still around us, who knows, maybe you're listening to Disarm.

Have you seen your friends and family?. We're crying many tears, feeling many feelings, asking ourselves "why".

Why, Mariana, what a question, right?. Knowing why won't bring you back. Crying many tears won't bring you back. Thinking of you, feeling for you won't bring you back. Why not?. We want you to be with us, Mariana. We love you and I guess that now we're beginning to figure that out. We take our lives for granted until someone, anyone, leaves us. Pretty sad, but true. Death had been a taboo for me, the forbidden word. If death is the only sure thing in life, why does it bring along so much pain and hurt with it?. In your case, Mariana, it hurts because you only lived for fourteen years. You were so young, so beautiful, so special to everyone who got the pleasure to laugh at your jokes...

Mariana, you were an angel on earth, are you one in heaven?. I think so. But I also know that I still want you back. Selfish and pittiful as it is, the truth is that you have solved your biggest problem, life, with our biggest problem...death.

The killer in me is the killer in you, my love (is it?)

With love,


PS: write back, please
PPS: I'll never forget you




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