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When Mariana died, I searched the Literature in Spanish, for titles on
bereavement. I wanted to know what other parents had felt after the death
of their child. I wanted to know what had worked for them. I needed reassurance
for all the feelings I was experiencing.
My search didn't bring many results. Most of the books I found were translations
from books written in English.
I had a lot to say. I am an expert on parental bereavement. I wanted Mariana
to be remembered. I had so many feelings that needed to be expressed.This
need slowly took the shape of a book!
a Mi Estrella Mailí, (Searching for My Estrella Maili, Rebuilding
My Life After the Death of My Daughter) is a book written from my
heart. It's honest, as the language of the heart is.
My book is available at Amazon.com
in English and Spanish
or you can order it directly from
Download a sample chapter
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I remember that Tuesday morning, February 4, 1997. I remember anticipating
an easy day, breakfast, perhaps a walk with the dogs and watching the
morning news before beginning a day of patients: comfortable in my office,
in my chair, with my "therapeutic distance" intact.
I remember the call from a colleague at the school where I was a consultant:
A call, which came too early in the morning not to set off an internal
alarm. The voice at the other end of the line too controlled while asking
for my help in the school as soon as possible. Her words: "A student suicide,"
and her fear that, "this could be contagious." Contagious? How? I was
abruptly shaken out of my fantasies of an easy day.
Late the day before, Gisela Luján, a colleague and friend, without my
knowing so as yet, was brutally shaken out of her role as mother, wife,
and school counselor. As she retells it in this book, upon returning home,
she found her 14 years old daughter at the foot of their apartment building,
dead! What had happened? A suicide or an accident? Why? She shares with
us, the readers, this terrible experience; her pain, her rage, her questions,
her confusion, many of which persist even today, but more importantly,
she shares with the reader her path out of the inferno of this loss into
a future full of life. She teaches us that it is possible to be reborn.that
life does continue.
This is a book written from the very depths of the heart. A book, which
painfully twists the reader's feelings, only to subsequently, guide them
toward a new serenity. It is an excellent reference both for professionals
who treat such painful cases, as well as for those people, who having
lost a loved one in an extreme situation, are still looking for their
internal peace...for a reason to live. It is, at the same time, a book
which you should avoid reading if you do not want to disturb your daily
peace and tranquility, the belief that such things only happen to
C. Hoebel, Ph.D.