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About the Book

When Mariana died, I searched the Literature in Spanish, for titles on bereavement. I wanted to know what other parents had felt after the death of their child. I wanted to know what had worked for them. I needed reassurance for all the feelings I was experiencing.

My search didn't bring many results. Most of the books I found were translations from books written in English.

I had a lot to say. I am an expert on parental bereavement. I wanted Mariana to be remembered. I had so many feelings that needed to be expressed.This need slowly took the shape of a book!

Book CoverBuscando a Mi Estrella Mailí, (Searching for My Estrella Maili, Rebuilding My Life After the Death of My Daughter) is a book written from my heart. It's honest, as the language of the heart is.

My book is available at in English and Spanish or you can order it directly from gisela at estrella-maili dot com

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Sample Chapter

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Back Cover

I remember that Tuesday morning, February 4, 1997. I remember anticipating an easy day, breakfast, perhaps a walk with the dogs and watching the morning news before beginning a day of patients: comfortable in my office, in my chair, with my "therapeutic distance" intact.

I remember the call from a colleague at the school where I was a consultant: A call, which came too early in the morning not to set off an internal alarm. The voice at the other end of the line too controlled while asking for my help in the school as soon as possible. Her words: "A student suicide," and her fear that, "this could be contagious." Contagious? How? I was abruptly shaken out of my fantasies of an easy day.

Late the day before, Gisela Luján, a colleague and friend, without my knowing so as yet, was brutally shaken out of her role as mother, wife, and school counselor. As she retells it in this book, upon returning home, she found her 14 years old daughter at the foot of their apartment building, dead! What had happened? A suicide or an accident? Why? She shares with us, the readers, this terrible experience; her pain, her rage, her questions, her confusion, many of which persist even today, but more importantly, she shares with the reader her path out of the inferno of this loss into a future full of life. She teaches us that it is possible to be reborn.that life does continue.

This is a book written from the very depths of the heart. A book, which painfully twists the reader's feelings, only to subsequently, guide them toward a new serenity. It is an excellent reference both for professionals who treat such painful cases, as well as for those people, who having lost a loved one in an extreme situation, are still looking for their internal peace...for a reason to live. It is, at the same time, a book which you should avoid reading if you do not want to disturb your daily peace and tranquility, the belief that such things only happen to others.

Fred C. Hoebel, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychologist

Spanish Version

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